What classifies you as good

In your mind what does a good man or woman look like? Be completely honest with yourself. This idea has baffled me for awhile. Does he or she have to be formally educated with a master’s degree or higher or can they have a high school diploma? Do they need a job making six figures or can they make $10-$12 an hour? Does your idea man have to have a six pack or can he have a Dad/Beer Belly? Does your woman have to hit the gym often or can thick thighs really save lives? Do they have to communicate very well, great mental health and have a therapist or can they be working through their problems the best way they know how until they can get further help. Do they have to have kids already or 35 with no kids? If he or she was previously married before or does not believe in marriage, is that a complete turn off? See these are some of the questions that we have to ask truthfully and honestly. Now do not go ask your significant other or someone you are interested in these questions immediately. If they are anything like me, they will shut it down until randomness and confusion settles.

Just because you believe you are a good man or woman does not mean someone else believes the same. Now we can say, it doesn’t matter how others see me or feel about me. Although I agree, our reputation precedes us. If I apply for a job and I have a reputation of poor work habits and ethics, then chances are I am not going to get that job. So, how people view can be important in that context.

Quick story, I remember this beautiful black queen. Well it was really two that I remember however I am going to stay focused on one of them. Yes, they had chocolate skin, but I am not going to give you to many details. Now, I had good intentions right. I told myself, I was not going to make any sexual advances because I really wanted to get to know her. She had a good career, no kids, good work ethics, communicated effectively. Just to name a few things. Now as fate would have it, you guessed it we engaged in some adult activities. As time went on I noticed a shift. We communicated and she disclosed she was really into me however she needed to work on some other things in her life. Cool. I came to the conclusion she only wanted one thing, but hey that’s just my conclusions. Now she had girl talk with the girls and she told them I was cool but I had a daughter. The girls were on my side; however she wasn’t feeling it. Fast forward, we are cool, but not together or anything like that.

Here is the take away: We both had decent jobs, college degrees, and we exercised (I was in the gym I promise). There was intellectual stimulation and even some compromise of a few things. If you know me then you know that’s hard for me. However, I did not match her preference of a significant other or husband material. I think I am a pretty ok guy and have goals on the checklist. Now she is entitled to her preferences just as well as myself. Now some will say she blocked her blessing. Well who said I was the blessing? Who said her and I would get along later in life?

Good and Great are subjective. I can meet everything on a woman’s checklist and still abuse her (I do not abuse women, I am making a point). Work on yourself. Develop what good and great is for you and do not compromise that or yourself. Follow through with your plans and promises. A man or woman looks great when they can be trusted, and they follow through. I read something that said, “Love means giving more of you to you” Make sure you do that. Treat folks with respect even if they disagree with your perspective. Our relationships, views of ourselves and our lives get better when we do better.