Self-Confidence

Have you ever felt like you had to work twice as hard to be respected, given an opportunity or for folks to just believe in you? Has someone ever told you, you are not going to amount to anything, you just don’t get it, you're not smart enough, don't have enough money, don’t come from the right place? Have you ever competed in something, lost and was told, I told you so? Have you ever just felt completely defeated? I am sure there are plenty more instances where disappointment and disrespect have landed at your front door. If you are anything like me, you have encountered a few disappointments in life, or someone has really cut you to your core. In these instances, it feels like your self-confidence has been released like air out of a balloon.

My next major question is WHY? Why do you have to work twice as hard, to barely get credit, respect or a minimal opportunity? My belief is that some people don't value you or what you bring to the table. They think poorly of you and may have never had a decent conversation with you to begin to pass judgement. They have created this idea and perspective of you based off of false information, maybe a history of bad decisions, personal insecurities and just plain old fake news. Who are you to prove them wrong? More importantly, who are they, that you have to feel obligated to show them you are worthy and well qualified and that you deserve to be loved and treated fairly. 

My mother and grandmother use to say, folks gon talk about you til the day you die. They talked about Jesus. What they were trying to instill was a solid level of self-confidence. This idea that people are not going to like you and that is ok, however you have remain focused on what you are supposed to be doing. Self-confidence is a fundamental element which helps with development. For instance, when you teach a child to ride a bike, once they got it, you can’t tell them anything. They ride fast and far.

Here is the thing, never lose that level of self-confidence like you had when you first learned to ride your bike. When those moments come where doubt find its way in, remember why you started, remember why you can’t give up, do small tasks to help get you back focused. For example, for me instead of doing something 7 days, I may do it for 3 and celebrate my small win. Enough small wins linked together, equals a big win.

I will leave you with this, #DoBetter and stop self-sabotaging yourself. Remove the haters, negative self-talk and negative thinking. Put people around you who are positive, believe in you and have shared values. This will begin to re-establish your self-confidence. Use everyday as an opportunity to increase it.